Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Random Colton News and Notes

1. A random chicken from a neighboring farm has built a nest under my parent’s deck and wanders freely around the property. She’s rather large and senses my apprehension, chasing me indoors on one occasion after sneaking up on me and pecking the back of my knees.
2.Although my jet lag worsens and I cannot sleep, it has led to great morning discoveries. Today after my shower, I took a wedge of chocolate fudge a woman from my father’s work had made for his birthday, and wandered out into the misty fields to see if my hair would freeze. It didn’t, but led to me finding a new deer trail cut in the grass which led into a hidden glen where I saw a jack rabbit pass by me in a blur.
3.Who knew that my Rebekah would be such a little lover? Who knew that she would know exactly when to give me a hug or to take my hand or to make a joke and not stop until I was giggling? Who knew that she would know the right thing to say? Four year olds aren’t that in-tuned to when their fathers are sad, are they? Xi’an is my first born and got the best of me. She can memorize poetry and loves art for art’s sake, and Baby Lauren Kinu is just a toddler on my shoulders, like carrying around a monkey, but my sweet little Rebekah… a father knows his kids, and she is just made of gold. We’ve been camping out on my parent’s floor all wrapped up in quilts and sleeping bags and dollies and picture books and whenever I get up in the middle of the night, which is always because I am so restless, she finds me, “Daddy, I couldn’t sleep. I missed you so.” Oh, my little angel. I’m here.
4.My parent's strange relationship continues to be a mystery. It always has. Even now, watching the same television program simultaneously in different rooms of the house. Being on their farm has brought me back to my former self. Saddles on horses, climbing beneath cars to check oil plates, and drinking my father’s strong Folger’s coffee in the morning, meeting him as he leaves for work well before sun up. We stand in doorways and discuss the weather or his conservative politics. He and my mother leave notes for each other all over the house: “I’ll call at 12:30” or “Be home for dinner at 5.” I find them everywhere and it reminds me how marriage can last for years in isolation.

5.Loki and Scout were my parents yellow labs. When Loki died, Scout used to lay on the ground where he was buried and just moan. Now they are both gone and there is nothing to keep the coyotes from walking around on the front porch. You can hear them howling all through the house. Last night, I went outside to confront them and could see their eyes glaring back at me in the pitch black. When I turned on the porch light they scattered, and it reminded me once again that light will always defeat darkness, not matter the odds stacked against you.
6. If this trip has taught me anything, it's that the only real important thing in my life is being a good father. That's the only job that truly matters. I can wish all I want for other things, but wishes are like the little sparrows that cross my parent's fields and fly away. The only real things are my girls.

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