Saturday, June 18, 2011

Asians Taking Pictures of Other Asians: The Graduation Edition

So graduation came and went this week and believe me, you ain’t heard the end of it from me. I’ve a lot to say and will. But for now, please just enjoy the awesome cheesiness of these action photographers getting down and dirty.
By the way, the lens on this guys camera could stop a charging rhino, and he was taking a picture of someone four feet away.
The 9th grade graduation was held at the school stage, and afterward, many parents complained it was not the right venue. I totally agree, and will attempt to swing some influence in the right direction for next year. I’m learning Taiwanese politics on the fly, people. It’s not easy. I’m learning it’s about what you leak to the right person knowing that person will blab it to the REAL right person. So we’ll see.
Oh, and another thing, this guy must have been like a Navy Seal in a former life, he was crawling under chairs, sneaking around getting the shot… but I got you, buddy. You’re mine.
Oh yes, the cheesiness abounds and has no end. The funny (or sad) thing is, that students were forced to take these “memorable” shots with teachers after vandalizing my room with no repercussion, starting a fire in a classroom, again without any penalty (the foreign teacher was cited as having mistakenly NOT had to put out the burning paper with his foot. He was just “mistaken”), and constantly berating their homeroom teachers with insults and ridicule (they loathed their teachers), but this photo-op looks good for parents, doesn’t it?
Ah… yes… every kid takes the exact same picture. Awesome!
Of course, this is your graduation stage, full of unisex cartoon animals popping out of magical mushrooms and butterflies and “I love you” heart signs. No wonder Taiwanese kids jump off of ten story buildings. No wonder someone as talentless and morosely obligatory as Lady Gaga can become a national hero to young people who chant “Born this way” as some secret anthem as they quickly change out of their school uniforms into LeBron James jerseys and Jersey Shore Ed Harvey t-shirts and turn their trucker hats onto the side of their head.
I mean really… they weren’t even given robes and tassels, they had to turn something.
The after graduation party was nothing. The dance I had petitioned for fell flat. School administrators just completely dropped the ball. The English department party was canceled due, again, to school administrators thinking it a bad idea. There was nothing. Just graduate, then quickly and without planning, cancel all student classes, without telling the teachers, and make all the students in the school stand for an hour in the 98 degree midday heat before shooting blow horns and spraying silly string as a final resort.
Yep… happy graduation.
Oh, and not one student came to say goodbye, thank you, I’m sorry, have a nice summer, sign my yearbook, or smell ya later. Nothing.
Happy Graduation!

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