a. A tribal tattoo tramp stamp on the lower back of a body builder strutting and doing naked stretches in the locker room of my gym.
b. A 9th grade student walking up to me in the hall, shaking his head and saying, “Yo Teach, I can’t believe it’s been 15 years since Biggie got popped.”
c. Me having to confiscate a hand mirror from the toughest boy in school because he was preening his bangs in the back row of class during a lecture on the Holocaust.
d. Half my class falling asleep while I showed them the “Nagasaki Atomic Bomb Survivor” photo gallery.
a. School administrators passing out a memo to foreign teachers not to be late to class because it is unseemly to have students locked out of classrooms and having to wait in the hall during passing time.
b. School administrators regularly punishing students by having them scrub hallways with toothbrushes during lunch.
c. School administrators pulling students out of my class once again, so they could take graduation photos… not math class…oh Heavens no…but English class, okay.
d. School administrator's ideas of effective time management manage by forcing all students to “pretend” clean the school every day from 3:55 p.m. to 4:15, which means dragging mops and brooms vainly across absolutely filthy floors over and over and over and over and over again daily.
a. Having to cancel my class so that Taiwanese students, who have suddenly become New York Knick fans, can watch basketball instead of study.
b. Listening to Taiwanese students dissect and discuss how Jeremy Linn is the best player in the NBA. (Despite leading the NBA in turnovers)
c. Arguing with Taiwanese students who claim Jeremy Linn is a product of the Taiwanese education and cultural system and that’s why he’s successful.
d. Having been threatened with being fired for taking my kids out to play basketball on numerous occasions, and having failed on countless attempts to create a sports (specifically basketball) team at my school, now listening to the Taiwan Ministry of Education say that, because of Jeremy Linn’s success, teachers should encourage more basketball play in schools.
a. The new school policy that all perishable garbage must be rinsed in the sink before being tossed in the receptacle because of the ant problem in classrooms.
b. The existing school policy that Taiwanese students speak NO CHINESE IN CLASS… while they prattle on and on and on and on and on in Chinese having no respect for their foreign teacher’s authority.
c. The school administrator who encouraged students to sign a petition to have a foreign teacher placed on administrative leave because his class was boring.
d. Being yelled at by students in Chinese because a foreign teacher dropped his empty Starbucks coffee cup into the garbage without rinsing it.
a. The math teacher who has been assigned to teach a literature class being criticized by parents because, “Foreign teachers don’t know what they are doing.”
b. The math teacher teaching a literature class who didn’t know what a metaphor was.
c. The math teacher teaching a literature class who complained bitterly that my curriculum was too hard to follow and couldn’t he just give his kids vocabulary word searches.
d. The math teacher teaching a literature class who complained so much the administrator allowed him to write the 9th grade mid-term, which he did… a 43 multiple choice question test.