I know... I know... while most people are thinking of the Zombie Apocalypse... I'm thinking about the rain. What's the matter with me? Okay... here's my crazy week in random whispers into Snail Shells.
On Monday while waiting for my daughters to finish piano class I watched this drunk kick the holy living hell out of some patio furniture outside a 7-Eleven. Cursing and frothing and spitting he threw a couple of plastic chairs into the street, knocked over a potted fern, got tangled up with a feisty umbrella stand, lost his pants and fell backward into a phone booth. Yes, they still have those here. Superman, he ain't.
Of course, the best part was his wife who showed up about five minutes after her husband unleashed all hell's fury on the poor clerk who was trying to call the cops. Oh...and the wife was preggers... I mean big beach ball sticking out of her housedress. The two shared a couple of cigarettes until the men in blue arrived. Nice one, ma!
School had it's moments... there is this new South African math teacher with an impossible to pronounce name who burst into the staff room in the middle of his class and pronounced that his students were monsters. That they were rude, beligerent, unruly, and completely without manners. They cursed him, called him names, wouldn't stop talking during his lecture and just totally ignored him. The South African demanded the administrator do something... but the admin just asked, "Did you get their workbooks signed?"
The look on the teacher's face was... not priceless.
Later that day the same administrator handed me a Memo stating I was to be very serious this week. No showing video clips. No meeting students during off hours for basketball or sports. No joking or story telling in class. This was serious. The 9th grade National Tests are this weekend. Students are to be serious.
Later during class I saw her two eyes popping up in the window like the protruding specs of a snail spying on me with her clipboard.
No fun... I got it. Check!
Today while walking to the computer store up over this street bridge a shoeless plainclothes man ran up to me and my girls screaming in Chinese. Apparently there was a yellow line I had crossed. "YOU CANNOT WALK HERE... DON'T YOU SEE THE YELLOW LINE?"
"Yes, I see it." I calmly explained. "But you are walking here. There is no construction going on."
"NO! NO! NO! YOU GO!"
This idiot man is screaming at me and my daughters for walking over a bridge like some seething troll. For nothing. Seriously... nothing!
So later... after a morning of torrential rains when this little moment of dryness opened up in the sky, I had a conversation with this snail that had somehow climbed three flights of stairs and was heading into a doorway... I said, "Buddy, you don't know the half of it."