Saturday, July 28, 2012

"A Guy Called Mitt"

If you don’t mind, gentle reader, I need to take a time out from the road and comment on the London Olympics which I’m just so excited for. I love the Olympics. I love everything they stand for. I love the Opening Ceremony, (especially the Parade of Nations, which gets me totally emotional), I love the competition, the backstories of athletes, the medal ceremonies. Win or Lose... I totally Geek Out during the Olympics…. And…for Mitt Romney, this multifarious weasel…, to pick a fight with England over their preparation of the Games…is, well… bloody painful.

This is England we’re talking about … ENGLAND! What other country over the past 500 years has proven herself more than ENGLAND, you dolt! OF course they’re going to be ready. And for the Mayor of London to stand in Hyde Park at a Torch Lighting Ceremony and say to a crowd of thousands…”So I hear there's this guy called Mitt Romney who says London isn’t ready for the games…” OR to even force David Cameron to quip back and defend his city…what are you doing, Mitt? You don’t pick a fight with England, not if you want to be OUR guy. America’s relationship with England is the most significantly important international friendship we have. We share everything, common language, history, ideals, morals, sense of industry, a shared destiny. Don’t you get that? Don't you see that from your ivory tower?

And then… to have it slip that you would be a better ally to the British than Obama because of the Anglo-Saxon thing? Seriously, you make me want to bury my head in the sand. I used to live in this homeowner’s association back in Beaverton, Oregon, and I was always getting letters in the mail that my garbage bin was not tucked safely on the side of my house and could be seen from the cul-de-sac, or that my garden hose was not coiled correctly or that my door was the “improper” color to coincide with the agreed house pallet …OR I would have these snooty douche bag neighbors that would stop to comment all the time, “Say neighbor, I just wanted to bring to your attention that your lawn needs watering…” OR, “Hey neighbor, this has probably slipped your mind but it’s been a week after the January deadline and your Christmas lights are still up, just FYI!”

I LOATHED those guys…. And that’s what Romney is…. He’s your crappy, snooty moronic neighbor with the manicured lawn who doesn’t believe in you and is going to let you know his superiority every chance he gets. He’s the guy in the cul-de-sac who makes an insipid comment then walks away while you’re flipping him off with both fingers, double barrel style from behind.

Thanks, “Guy called Mitt,” excellent job representing me and my country. Get back on your plane and go home. You embarrassed us and humiliated yourself. Bring on the Games… Go London, 2012!

No comments:

Post a Comment