So it was deep in the summertime while on vacation on the island of Borneo when these pictures were taken... It's winter now, cold and damp and frosty and moldy... and as the year closes, I was thinking about things I've completely bombed and cut out of my life and others I definitely need to hold onto. I encourage you all to make similar lists for 2013.
I don't want to know or be associated with people who take pictures of food before they eat it. I certainly don't want you to post those meals, pre-consumption, on your Facebook page with captions like, "Good Times. Great Food. Even better Friends." All I think about when I see your full plate is, how it's going to look post-digestion before you flush.
I need to win more battles with the Chinese. Yesterday I walked into a coffee shop, stood in line for ten minutes, finally pushed my way to the counter and ordered and the young pimply, brace-faced kid said, "Sorry, we don't have coffee." I lost it. He would make a sugary macchiato, a watered-down Americano, or a frizzy cappachino, but he wouldn't roast me some coffee because he was too busy texting. I had to just walk out of the store.
Then I went to the phone company, took a number, waited in line thirty minutes, but they wouldn't -reactivate my phone because I only had one piece of ID, a passport. I needed two. I had to walk out of the office and come back another day.