Today was a pretty typical day of school. My students scooped runny cabbage soup out of a metal barrel that has been sitting on the same beaten piece of cardboard for years. They love it!
A kid named William mocked a kid named Sally for her test scores then made matters worse by admitting he was an idiot... that she was even most stupid than an idiot. This caused Sally to climb out the fifth floor window... she had to be pulled back inside and spent the rest of the day at home.
An eighth grade kid named Sebastian got 8 stitches on his left index finger after it was slammed in a door while he was trying to grab the bottom of another boy. Blood squirted all over the hallway. Thank God the Taiwanese students are handy with mops.
My buddy Paul (posed here as the Human Worm) scolded a 7th grade boy and girl after they were fighting over a box cutter. Later, the two were wrestling over the dangerous weapon again, blade exposed, when he had to confiscate it. The students thought it was funny to cut each other. When he told a school administrator the man just laughed and waved the children along. I brought this matter up to my school administrator she said, "Thank you for telling me, what do you want me to do about it?"
In class, I spent the first few minutes telling students about a deranged psychotic man in Florida who chewed off the face of another man, but my students were more interested in this popular trend of wearing over-sized hipster glasses without lenses. Two years ago it was Trucker Hats...now this. What does the world need less: Real Zombies or Asian Hipsters?
So after work... nestled into a comfy booth of the Early Bird Cafe, enjoying a luscious cheese burger and my daughters trying to impatiently share a strawberry malt... an old cartoon came on that I hadn't seen in years. My daughters stopped sucking on their straws and watched in wonder with me... asking... "Who's that pig? Why are all those clocks melted? Daddy, what's a Do Do Bird?"
Well...where to begin?