Thursday, February 20, 2014

杀 鼠 剂 王 / RODENTICIDE KING

 
My second day in the little mountain cottage classroom was quite eventful... it was a bright summer morning with pure glorious rays of sunshine pouring through the open windows.  Colorful starlings darted in between pink rhododendron branches singing a delightfully merry chorus and the clean air smelled of lilac and bristling pine.  It was the kind of morning where a romantic such as myself might step out into this pristine scene and utter the phrase, "My goodness!"
I was at the chalkboard writing out by hand a poem by Longfellow when suddenly I became aware of another presence in the room.  A living one, scampering beneath me racing across my feet.  I looked down, and to my horror, saw a black rat the size of my 11 inch sneaker, with red beady eyes and white fangs, holding my shoe lace in its greedy paws and gnawing away at the edges.
Regretfully, I did not act in a manly fashion.
You might be surprised at all the ways there are to kill a family of rats the size of small dogs.  Sticky glue sheets to slide under the cabinet won't cut it...and they merely mock the metal cages with trick doors.  Their necks are too big to slide under the snapping traps and so the Chinese have a different method... poisoned sunflower seeds...which I found in bundles upon cleaning...atop the chalkboard, behind the bookshelf, inside my desk...glorious nature be damned!  I WILL BE THE RODENT KING OF THIS CLASSROOM!
To be continued... 

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