Thursday, March 6, 2014

Asian Looking Glass / Alice in Wonder "Weird" Land

“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”  -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

The administrator said not to contact parents anymore, not to write letters home explaining that their child started a water fight in class or was crawling under the desk lighting shoes on fire or cursed me loudly in Chinese when I asked for the umpteenth time to stop talking in class.  The administrator said, that parents don't like bad letters, it makes them complain to the school that teachers can't control their classes.
“Begin at the beginning,” the King said, very gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”   -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

The administrator also said don't write nice letters either.  If a teacher writes a nice letter saying this kid is so creative or this kid is a leader or this kid encourages others then parents will complain even more.  They will say, "I heard the teacher wrote a good letter for this student, why didn't they write one for my child?"
“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat:  “We’re all mad here.  I’m mad.  You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.”  -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I sat there listening...and the frightening part was, I started to understand.  The administrator said, "Asian parents see their children as objects to compare against other families.  If you don't allow them to compare, you can win."
“How puzzling all these changes are!  I’m never sure what I’m going to be, from one minute to another.”   -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I want to win... don't I?
“And what is the use of a book,” thought Alice, “without pictures or conversation?”  -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

But every day it's a loss.  I give these kids Shakespeare and they could care less...Poe and Macabre Tales and they yawn... Oscar winning movies and they fall asleep...we rehearse plays and the boys can't stand ten seconds without punching each other in the testicles...then we finally perform a play and the students complain that I didn't buy them steak!
“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”  -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I subbed a class last week...25 students, 22 boys... for two hours it was a constant battle to keep them from laying, groping, caressing, nuzzling, fondling and blatantly putting their hands in the pants of their neighbor.  Boys, teenage boys, couldn't go ten seconds without putting their hands in each other's pants.
Who in the world am I?  Ah, that’s the great puzzle.”  -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

After the class I went straight to an administrator who said, "Boys here are still questioning their sexuality.  They are not sure if they are boys or girls...so they experiment."  But...in class?
“I don’t think…”  “then you shouldn’t talk, said the Hatter.”  -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

It's a common thread on this blog, but often times I feel like Alice through the Looking Glass...but it's an Asian looking glass...one where Alice wears sunglasses with headphones and the White Rabbit drops rose petals and there's a Samurai with a Geisha and Alice changes into Go-Go Boots and the Queen of Heart is really a Queen of Strawberries instead and in the end she escapes in a hot air balloon and...and...it's like they can't even get Alice in Wonderland right!
“Off with their heads.”  -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Oh Hartenstein, shut up and enjoy the ride, will ya!  It's just a job.  It's just a job, you know?


No comments:

Post a Comment