Friday, March 7, 2014

Dirty Little Asian Secrets

 A kid ran up to me yesterday and said, "Teacher!  Can you borrow me some toilet paper, I must poo poo!"  She's a senior.

My Asian students are constantly asking me for toilet paper because they have to poop.  It’s a dirty little secret in Asia, that when there’s no paper, and the rice diet is causing you to flush your system quick, that your only alternative is to use soiled paper from the waste bin next to the squatter toilet.  (No… you’re not allowed to flush soiled toilet paper because it clogs the thin PVC, so it collects in the bin next to you)  Yes, everybody does it!  What’s worse is, there’s never any soap or hand-towels, (why is there no soap and hand towels…?)  so kids just run water over their hands and return to class. 
It’s disgusting!
When we study The Plague, which we do, I often bring this matter up and students yawn and scratch themselves.  Nobody makes the connection.
 The air-pollution is so bad, I haven’t seen the sky in a week.

So… diseases here are very communicable.  There’s Bird Flu and H1N1 and SARS and nobody draws the conclusion that poop on the hands means....YOU'RE GONNA MAKE EVERYBODY SICK, IDIOT!
 Young children are constantly given hard plastic candy as a reward in schools.  This causes young teeth to rot.  It’s very common to see students here with teeth discolored black and green.

There’s another rule that if your child has a temperature of 38C, they must go home until they are 24 hours fever free.  This seems like a good policy, unless you’re a working parent and there’s no place for your kid to go.  How about this: 
Schools should buy some freaking soap and hand towels!
Make kids wash their hands!
Stop relying on hand-sanitizer!  It’s corrosive.
Stop bleaching the floors of my kid’s classroom!
Give kids fruit instead of candy!
Give them something nutritious to eat other than Stinky Tofu!
Stop making kids go to school for 14 hours a day without sports or art or recess!
 Oh yes… here’s Kinu in my classroom hanging out, apparently too sick to go to school.

Here’s another stupid rule, let’s screw the teachers!  There’s a rule on the books here, that if a teacher misses class, he must forfeit his salary…(not get paid, okay, fair enough) …but if he is out an extended period, he must pay the substitute teacher for the time lost.  (What?  No sick days…?  HUH?)  Before you disagree, this happened to a guy I work with who was out a week of work and had to pay his sub. 
Rebekah draws her Dad a Mummy…because he’s unraveling!


So… if your child gets sick and has to stay home, you not only lose the money your paying for their tuition, but you lose your salary also, and furthermore have to pay for someone to cover your job.  It’s madness!
Kinu’s First Tooth…older sister Xian pulled it out with a tissue!


Come on, people!  We’re better than this.  We’re Teachers!  Teachers!  We’re supposed to be the smartest people in society.  Certainly we can come up with better policies than this?  Can’t we?

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